Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Uncategorized

Note to Self.

Note to self.

If you are going to do this,

You will really have to dig.

Cause I’m getting fucking tired,

of being told that I’m too big.

I know when you look at me,

You feel the need to joke.

And I can feel your judgement,

Encompass me like a cloak.

Maybe you should try,

To put your self hatred on the shelf.

You know your biggest challenge,

Has always been yourself.

Maybe all you need is love,

You needn’t be brave or bold.

You just need to realize it’s ok,

Not to fit their mold.

J.Thoresen

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Uncategorized

Autumn Gold.

You may be like the summer.

Like a beach sparkling in the heat.

People flock to your beauty,

And I know I can’t compete.

For I have an autumn soul,

I’m dying piece by piece.

I know the seasons change,

And the summer heat will cease.

So I may not be as sunny,

Some may even think I’m cold.

But as your summer sparkle fades,

I will still be autumn gold.

J.Thoresen

Gallery-Photography · Gallery-Written

The Wisdom of the Wild Prairie Crocus.

Every spring the wild crocus springs forth from the snow. A symbol of renewal and joy. Every year I’m overjoyed to hunt down these pretty and tough little beauty’s. I think we could all learn a lot from these prairie gems. One can really be inspired by the wisdom of these wildflowers.

•First and foremost the crocus shows us that it’s possible to grow even when our circumstances are less than ideal.

•It reminds us that we can be delicate and strong.

•It blooms in adversity, reminding us just how beautiful resilience can be.

•And finally, it reminds me that I’m kinda furry come spring.

But all jokes aside, I know when I’m looking for wisdom I often find what I need when I look to nature. What about you? What has Mother Nature taught you today?

Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Life · Uncategorized

Oh hey, you’re out of Milk- Notes from a stalker.

It’s been said by those that know me, that I come off as a bit of a creep. I can be a kind of intense. And if you give me a cocktail, you can bet I’m turning into a total close talker. If I’m at all interested in you I’m probably going to stalk you a wee bit. You know the usual stuff, gather intel, do a background check, light surveillance, nothing too crazy. I promise its totally innocent, sort of a detached appreciation. I’m actually quite introverted and definitely have no interest in a possessive way. But, I’ll most likely come on too strong, or over share, and send you running for the hills. And even if I’m not at the wheel of my creep-mobile, if you are remotely in my orbit, at some point I’m going to say or do something weird. I’m generally always doing something to embarrass myself.

For the most part I’ve embraced it, I’ve even worn my stalker badge proudly. I love making my friends these creepy music videos, kind of a birthday-gram. They all share the same theme—obsessed fan. It’s all in good fun and thankfully they still accept me despite my special brand of weird.

But in this life long pursuit to connect with those I’m drawn to, I’ve made things weird on a few occasions. Recently I was reminded of one of the more notorious events in my stalking escapades.

I can remember when I first met him. He was quiet and handsome and had dimples for days. I barely knew him, but I knew I desperately needed to know him better. I can remember one time I saw his car pull into the only gas station we had in our small town. It was blocks away, but I ran there as fast as I could. When I arrived he was just leaving. I was completely out of breathe, but I tried to act aloof, managing to squeak out one word. One breathe-less “hey.” He said hi back, hopped in his car and left, and I collapsed to the ground gasping for air. You probably think I’m exaggerating, but nope, that’s me. This is just one example of the many embarrassing things I’ve done when I find myself attracted to another soul. He should have been afraid but for whatever reason he tolerated my intensity and we became friends.

A couple years later we were hanging out just doing the normal teenager thing, cruising around and hanging out with friends. My girlfriends and I were scrutinizing and exchanging the only selfies we had back then, our annual school photos. I was picking my photo apart, but he thought it was cute and said he wanted one. I was embarrassed because I had to give them to my mom first, but I told him I’d give him one later. A normal human being would have just set aside one of the leftover photos. But instead, I spent the evening constructing a giant poster board, using all of them. Twenty or so of the same photo and pose, in every size. The idea was that he would hang it on his wall, and if anyone saw it they would assume he was obsessed with me. A real stalker of my own, swoon! My girlfriend and I laughed the night away at the thought of it. We added blinking lights, shiny paper and tinfoil. The next day I went to present him with my masterpiece. But suddenly I felt a bit ridiculous and started second guessing myself. I was a bit worried he wouldn’t get the joke, and would likely think I was a total lunatic. But I threw caution to the wind, and decided to go for it. I put it in his truck and when we got a chance to be alone I told him to go have a peek. I was laughing, because no matter what I kinda think I’m hilarious. To my surprise he seemed totally unfazed by this monstrosity, he smiled and told me it was awesome!

Awesome? Perhaps this quiet, smiley boy is a bigger weirdo than he lets on. “Let’s go plug it in” I exclaimed. And the rest is history.

The point is, sometimes you are better off just letting it all hang out. I want to be liked and cared for just as much as the next guy, but getting close to people can be scary. I can be insecure, and I make mistakes attempting to do so. Some people get turned off by me, but I’m slowly learning those aren’t my people. Rejection is hard, but I’m a woman of many shades and I’m the only one who gets to define exactly who that is. Anyone else’s opinion is none of my business. Sometimes I’m intense, maybe a bit overwhelming, sometimes I’m introverted, probably kinda underwhelming. But I’m also a loving human being that desires intimacy with others, not in a sexual way, but a spiritual one. I need people I can be totally unfiltered with, laugh with. People who care about my story and remind me that although I feel like a misfit, I’m not alone in this journey. Apparently this is going to be misinterpreted at times, and may scare the odd person off. But there’s something special about it too. So I vow to be myself and see who stays. I’ve had success and found kindred spirits by doing so in the past. And I think those who are brave enough, might end up with a great friend. Someone who will always be looking out for them——albeit through a long range spying scope. Ha! But seriously I can’t help but be me, flaws and all. So I’ve decided to let my freak flag fly! Cause you never know who might be happy to see it.

Words and Art by Jessie Thoresen.

Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Uncategorized

The Guide (Part 2).

The guide

You can live a life with no worries;

And all you need do,

Is follow these simple tips –

I’ll spell them out for you.

You must share the load as a homemaker,

The old gender roles you needn’t abide.

But the man of the house has obligations,

So be sure you can provide.

Being a soft, nurturing role model,

Must be a part of your mindset.

And you must be the fearless protector,

Alert to every threat.

Be a sensitive man who listens,

To earn your badge of pride.

But don’t you be a sissy,

keep your feelings bottled up inside.

Be a fun, impulsive sports fan,

Your deeds and physique should be heroic,

But always weigh your options;

Be wise, be calm, be stoic.

And if you’re confused by this paradox,

Between being a gentleman and a boor.

All you need do to fight it,

Is to see yourself as more.

Just live your life with pride,

If you want to be set free.

And don’t forget who you were,

Before they told you who you should be.

J. Thoresen

Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Uncategorized

The guide.

Words and Art by J. Thoresen.

Part 1- Guidance for female humans.

The guide

You can live a life with no worries;

And all you need do,

Is follow these simple tips –

I’ll spell them out for you.

You should appear sweet and wholesome,

Yet insatiable and sexy.

Be the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve,

But not so emotional they say you are crazy.

You should be low maintenance,

But always look your best.

Stay brave and independent,

But always wary of danger, and aware of how you are dressed.

Eat! No one likes a salad girl,

You should be confident in your skin.

But to look good and be healthy,

You simply must stay thin.

Be an outspoken career person,

Only rely on yourself.

But also Suzie Homemaker,

Ready to put your aspirations on the shelf.

And if you’re confused about this paradox,

Between being a Madonna or a whore.

All you need do to fight it,

Is to see yourself as more.

Just live your life with pride,

If you want to be set free.

And don’t forget who you were,

Before they told you who you should be.

Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Uncategorized

Honest Rumours. Words and Art by J.Thoresen

If you were honest,

And your intent was true.

Don’t you be disheartened,

By the opinion of a few.

Some may take it personally,

Some may reject or criticize.

But that’s a reflection of them,

Not a reason to apologize.

You needn’t explain your truth,

So don’t bother to try.

For those committed to

misunderstanding,

Often prefer the comfort of a lie.

J.Thoresen

Gallery-Photography · Gallery-Written · Life · Uncategorized

Seasons- Words and Photography by J.Thoresen

You may be like the summer.

Like a beach sparkling in the heat.

People flock to your beauty,

And I know I can’t compete.

For I have an autumn soul,

I’m dying piece by piece.

I know the seasons change,

And the summer heat will cease.

So I may not be as sunny,

Some may even think I’m cold.

But as your summer sparkle fades,

I will still be autumn gold.

J.Thor

Gallery-Paint · Gallery-Written · Uncategorized

Ornament or Instrument. Words and Art by J.Thoresen

Am I just an ornament?

To be gazed upon and graded.

All of my imperfections,

Being pointed out and berated.

Will I ever be good enough?

Will you still think I’m grand?

If I lose my lustre,

Just taking up space upon your hand

I am more than just an ornament.

Look beyond what you can see.

I’m more like an instrument,

With a unique melody.

And while admiring adornments

Isn’t necessarily wrong.

If you only judge my cover,

You may never hear my song.

J.Thor